There are not many football clubs in the UK that have an LGBT-friendly team affiliated to them – but Millwall is one of just two that do, alongside Charlton.
Chairperson and player Paul Loding told us: “I remember being in the stands watching a game with my dad and hearing the shouts of f*ck off you queers. Things like that set you back.”
The 6’2″ Essex football lad was not referring to a Millwall game. It was back in his childhood at a match in Sussex. But he would never have imagined that many years later he and his teammates would find a home in south London playing under the name Millwall Romans.
Formed in 2006, the team was actually a north London-based side without an affiliated club until Millwall Community Trust approached them in 2020 and they have not looked back.
The affiliation has transformed the side. The team benefits from free kit, equipment and a minibus for away days. Most impressively, they have access to the St Paul’s Sports Ground in Rotherhithe for training and matches – the same pristine surface where Millwall’s Lionesses train.
Thanks, at least in part, to the support offered by Millwall FC, Paul and the team can reflect on recent success. Last year, they won the London Unity League, a competition for LGBT+ teams. And players who spoke to the News laughingly recalled winning the GFSN National Cup in Manchester and enjoying an ‘open top tour’ around the city in Paul’s convertible.
With so many good memories on and off the pitch, it’s hard to believe that, at one point, it looked like Paul had hung up his boots for good. “I left football aged sixteen,” he says. “I’d played for a team in Barking. It was okay. They were a good group of guys. But I couldn’t feel at home there.
“It had quite an Essex-blokey feel, which is fine. We all drink beer – it’s not like we don’t,” he laughs. “But it was like I was living this lie because I wasn’t saying I’ve got a boyfriend at home. I’d try to avoid the questions.”
It’s a story that many of the players have some version of – tales of hiding relationships from friends and family.
There were some reservations about joining Millwall, the home of “no one likes us, we don’t care”. Captain John Goodyear said: “It was something we discussed as a team because there obviously is that reputation with Millwall.”
But he says those concerns subsided as soon as the partnership began. “Once we became part of the Millwall Community Trust, they were amazing and so supportive,” he says. “Every time we’ve been to the Den we’ve been made to feel really welcome. So it’s been really eye-opening for us.”
The feel-good factor is infectious and appears to have filtered out from the club and into the streets of Bermondsey and Rotherhithe. Take the The Brunel pub, formerly The Adam & Eve. Depending on who you ask, it used to be a “locals’ pub” or “a little rough round the edges”, but certainly not a gay bar.
The pub has retained its traditional feel – it’s still heaving on match days and attracts the old regulars. But, at the same time, it’s welcomed the Romans with open arms. “We’re really friendly with the pub. Every home game we’ll be in there. If it’s an early kick off, we’ll be in the pub at two o’clock and finish at ten and that does get a bit dangerous!” laughed Paul, recalling marathon drinking sessions.
But post-match tomfoolery aside, is there really a need for LGBT-friendly football clubs? And by separating gay players from straight players, could they actually be a barrier to integration? Paul points out that football can still be a very hostile place for LGBT people and that’s why these clubs exist. Millwall Romans, he pointed out, is made up of gay and straight players, and aims to create a comfortable place for all sexualities.
He explains: “I was quite late coming out. I was 24 when I came out to one of my straight friends and then I was 28 when I told my mum and 30 when I told my dad. Without having this facility, it would have been quite difficult. I think that’s why these teams exist – so we can just be ourselves irrelevant of who’s around.”
When it comes to tackling homophobia, football still has work to do. There are stunningly few openly gay professionals and the Qatari World Cup arguably demonstrates FIFA’s lukewarm attitude to sexual orientation equality.
Paul even admits that, despite the support he’s received from Millwall FC, he’s still wary of how some fans could react if they were to parade around the stadium. In the past, the woman’s side – the Millwall Lionesses – have walked around the pitch at the Den at half-time, something he wouldn’t want for the Romans.
“As great as Millwall are, I think if we did parade ourselves around the pitch at halftime I still think we would receive a few boos,” he said. He added that he believes this is a fear he has over “mob mentality” and not representative of how he thinks Millwall fans really feel.
Paul believes the best way to tackle discrimination is to take a proactive approach: “I want to educate people and say ‘don’t say that’. That could be your son, that could be your nephew, that can’t be comfortable in their own skin.”
Fortunately, Paul knows change is possible. He came out to his Dad aged 30 and can still remember the response; “I don’t know if I agree with it, I don’t know if I agree with the lifestyle.” Today, Paul’s dad has completely changed his attitude and “massively” regrets what he said.
“He watches us every Sunday now,” Paul says with a proud smile.
Written by Southwark News
